Relatable
Hi, welcome again. You know....
Company of someone special really makes us a good person, it makes us do things in a better way, or in some cases it makes us do things while earlier we were all lone, and detached from outer world.
After a quality of time together, we find ourselves into that person, and into some good things we never want to stop doing, including being with that very person. Now we talk to them like filling out the slam book, like they question a drop & we answer with ocean, and we totally not aware of how silly we are being, how “at risk” we are. Immature is fine, can be helped, but must avoid going insane. We've raised our (imaginary) relation with that person so damn high, that if we fall from there we'd die of depression and anxiety & don't know what else, it'd just shatter into pieces of something that was made so fine and eye catching with those little pats of kindness.
Now we are in deep fear of ending up there, so we cut the crap, and silliness to its extreme, we start to get insecure occasionally (for now, it get worse with time), we feel left out every time. It's hard to believe that it won't get any bad, because somewhere, deep somewhere, we know it's never gonna work out this way (with all the insecurities we're having, with all the unclear mess laying around), we start to feel that it's literally impossible to carry on with such a deep messy thought (of insecurity) in our mind.
Now is the point we start to pick little error in their behavior (unintentional errors of course) and we start to connect it to the idea that how lone we are even when they are around, and eventually we start to get a feeling that we are being avoided/ignored. With every possible way, we start to connect things to "how they are planning to leave us". Now here, it gets so messed up (in our head), that we can't even think of reaching to the person, and we start to keep numb, make it seem like we don't care about the consequences as we're sure about the result (which just is based on silly thoughts of ours). Now is the point when “even they” start to think that you've had enough and going to step out (as we are acting so carefree, it's easier to get to a conclusion), with day's passing and none of us trying to knock on others door and sit & talk it out, or even speak up all (messy ideas) in our mind, we simply sit back and let it happen, to a point where we see that it's exactly happening the way we thought it would.
Now we try to unload all the burden on the other person, going like “I knew this was going to happen, I was sure about it”. And little by little the essence of the relation starts to fade, the beauty that was holding both halves together starts to decay into nothingness. And finally, we walk out (mutually), convincing ourselves that “this was the destiny”, “this was meant to happen”, “I knew we were going to end up here”, “it was never going to work” and all other possible & impossible kinds of crap we could think of, just to comfort ourselves for the situation we are in because of us, irony!
Now, day's pass, and with these self-talk sessions we have frequently (all the time*), we have this little thought is some corner of our mind, “Did I really thought it through, was I right about it from the beginning or it was just my mind making all those things up, was it really not working?”. And suddenly we stop thinking about it that far (not actually, but we try our best to just stop), because it start making sense, and it was easier to accuse them, than taking all the burden on us. We feel weak (emotionally, mentally) to accept that we failed it, and starting from end to the back we come to an understanding that it all started with a good thought actually, thought of “keeping them, and not losing them”, do over obsession kills the beauty of “things”?
Company of someone special really makes us a good person, it makes us do things in a better way, or in some cases it makes us do things while earlier we were all lone, and detached from outer world.
After a quality of time together, we find ourselves into that person, and into some good things we never want to stop doing, including being with that very person. Now we talk to them like filling out the slam book, like they question a drop & we answer with ocean, and we totally not aware of how silly we are being, how “at risk” we are. Immature is fine, can be helped, but must avoid going insane. We've raised our (imaginary) relation with that person so damn high, that if we fall from there we'd die of depression and anxiety & don't know what else, it'd just shatter into pieces of something that was made so fine and eye catching with those little pats of kindness.
Now we are in deep fear of ending up there, so we cut the crap, and silliness to its extreme, we start to get insecure occasionally (for now, it get worse with time), we feel left out every time. It's hard to believe that it won't get any bad, because somewhere, deep somewhere, we know it's never gonna work out this way (with all the insecurities we're having, with all the unclear mess laying around), we start to feel that it's literally impossible to carry on with such a deep messy thought (of insecurity) in our mind.
Now is the point we start to pick little error in their behavior (unintentional errors of course) and we start to connect it to the idea that how lone we are even when they are around, and eventually we start to get a feeling that we are being avoided/ignored. With every possible way, we start to connect things to "how they are planning to leave us". Now here, it gets so messed up (in our head), that we can't even think of reaching to the person, and we start to keep numb, make it seem like we don't care about the consequences as we're sure about the result (which just is based on silly thoughts of ours). Now is the point when “even they” start to think that you've had enough and going to step out (as we are acting so carefree, it's easier to get to a conclusion), with day's passing and none of us trying to knock on others door and sit & talk it out, or even speak up all (messy ideas) in our mind, we simply sit back and let it happen, to a point where we see that it's exactly happening the way we thought it would.
Now we try to unload all the burden on the other person, going like “I knew this was going to happen, I was sure about it”. And little by little the essence of the relation starts to fade, the beauty that was holding both halves together starts to decay into nothingness. And finally, we walk out (mutually), convincing ourselves that “this was the destiny”, “this was meant to happen”, “I knew we were going to end up here”, “it was never going to work” and all other possible & impossible kinds of crap we could think of, just to comfort ourselves for the situation we are in because of us, irony!
Now, day's pass, and with these self-talk sessions we have frequently (all the time*), we have this little thought is some corner of our mind, “Did I really thought it through, was I right about it from the beginning or it was just my mind making all those things up, was it really not working?”. And suddenly we stop thinking about it that far (not actually, but we try our best to just stop), because it start making sense, and it was easier to accuse them, than taking all the burden on us. We feel weak (emotionally, mentally) to accept that we failed it, and starting from end to the back we come to an understanding that it all started with a good thought actually, thought of “keeping them, and not losing them”, do over obsession kills the beauty of “things”?
Hope they would have said it earlier, “sensitive shit, handle with care”. How easier life would have been, if it have came with a “(well)specified user manual”, and things would have came with “precautions”. Or “the manual”, “precautions” all are just out there and we are missing it?
I don't know, let me know if you do…
:)
PS. Just a piece of advice, think it through already when you have even a slightest idea of something going wrong and you think it's fine and will get better with time. No! (I think) one must talk it out, speak out every minor thing going wrong, not all scars heal with time. Talking out is always a win win, it won't make things go bad, but will surely make the communication part stronger and clearer. It'll show that you don't stand even a slightest chance that could harm the perfection of your “togetherness”, this will give them a little peace of mind and a warm hug to their hearts. It is other way round as well, of course building up this beauty is a two players game.
Ending with a smile,
Sakib Tamboli
-A Story Teller
Do you think there are 'manuals and precautions' or do's and don'ts for relations with people?
Let me know your thought, in the comments down below...
And, Don't forget to Share :)
-A Story Teller
Do you think there are 'manuals and precautions' or do's and don'ts for relations with people?
Let me know your thought, in the comments down below...
And, Don't forget to Share :)
Comments
Post a Comment