Second Chance

It was a month and a week since we’ve been in a relationship. We just had a month anniversary on Wednesday. With you the relationship was amazing, no day I can think of when you didn’t make me believe more in how beautiful love can be. Now after 6 months, I say that I wish I have said it back then. I was not just immature, not just silly, not just lost, I was crazy to take that long to finally be able to realize. I still remember the day, a normal coffee after tiring lectures, and how foolishly you put all your feelings upfront, (Yeah, you are foolish to fall for somebody like me, somebody who takes this long to figure out if he’s in love, guess my momma is right about me, that I am too slow at things, I couldn’t agree more, I’ll stop defending myself, once and for all) you were foolish to make that coffee into a date all of a sudden, but I am glad you confessed your feelings for me that day, or dumb me would never have realized how good you are at loving somebody and expecting nothing back.

Let me now just tell the story, the things I was going through. Being friends with you was really amazing and being your first call in every situation was beyond what I could ask for, that trust you’ve shown, I am glad to have it. Two years of friendship and getting this close to you felt like we’re moving faster a little, and little did I know that you liked me beyond friends, which I admired, somewhere secretly. Getting you into my class made the chances of us being together a little (hell more than little) at the better side. I remember how kind you use to admire each piece that I show you, and made me believe in myself. Somewhere deep I was falling for you. But with the mess I was holding on to, it was hard to accept that I do.

Coffee every day was so usual that I hadn’t even the slightest idea that you were going to open up your feelings for me, but you did and I couldn’t resist it but make it mutual. I wasn’t totally into it, but I couldn’t agree more that if I wouldn’t have been a coward all this time, ‘us’ would have happened ages ago. Right after that moment, I was cherishing the ‘we’ finally was official and deep somewhere my thoughts felt lost, I asked myself, am I just going with the flow or it is genuine? You called after reaching home, like usual but that day it was not just “I made it home alive, see you tomorrow”, it lasted for more than an hour. We talked that night like we usually use to after dinner, but admiring each other more and those long talk about “I was going to say it ‘that’ day, so we wouldn’t have stayed unaware of others feeling for this long”. Everything made an exception today, felt like the universe is going out of the box, and little did I know that this is how it’s going to be from now. That night was a long one.

Weeks passed, I was still searching for the right words to express my feeling for you, but the right feeling to express was the real deal. For all the time you were around you kept the energy, the vibes, coming so that my least involvement won’t take it all down. You kept asking, I lied, it wasn’t college or family stress, and it was something I stepped onto with lack of knowledge but just like an enthusiastic child. (Now I say that, thanks for not giving up on me) The month was about to complete and the ‘lost me’ was still nowhere to be found. We had our time on “The Month Anniversary” and I hated myself to keep you in shadow for this long, but I didn’t want to lose you. People say, everything has the right time to happen, my right time was a terrible day for me.

That day when I took a day off for bed rest, and you let me be all by myself. I got a call on that evening, saying you fainted in class, and you were shivering before fainting. With you not answering my calls, I was terrified, I literally would have sobbed until I get drown into tears if I wasn’t around my parents that day. I don’t believe in god, but I wished all wishes of my life to give me strength and let me make it to see you. To see you and hold you in my arms and then slap you real hard shouting “Can’t you take care of yourself for a single day when I am not around!?” I made it to college the other day, you weren’t there, I expected. I hit the hospital right away and saw you laying on one of the bed, smiling awkwardly at me, I couldn’t see if you were stuck in between all those wires and kinds of stuff, I pulled you out of those strings your life was balancing on and hugged you harder than I ever did. Repeatedly murmuring ‘I love you, idiot’, I realized how badly I wanted to utter these words to you and to actually realize how pure they mean. Nonetheless, I still remember when that doctor passing by said, “Oh stop this already! It’s just weakness due to her RBC going low, trust me this is not your last day Romeo, not yet” and you were laughing at my silliness and doctor at ‘our’ silliness.

It is not like you always wait for yourself to fall, sometimes you need to take the charge as well.

-Sakib Tamboli

A Story Teller

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